3 months ago I left Rehab, a safe haven, and returned home, to reality. Something I learnt through group sessions and trough my own journey of self discovery during my 18 day stay is that we often strive for validation, which is essentially good BUT why we do so is a whole nother mess of messes.
I was one of the first of my friends to really unlock the true potential around social media and how you can use it as a tool to further your work. What I lost along the way was my identity. I became MATT NEL, a subject rather than a living, breathing body. Human. Soul. Energy. A lot of us get dragged in to the superficial tendencies of posting our lives on social media. I for one am probably a bad hypocrite considering I will still upload images of really cool food “even though it isn’t in anymore darling” (Edina monsoon accent)
As stated above, social media is a tool. However how we use it, i up to each and everyone of us. Cause let’s face it- ANYONE with a unlocked Instagram account isn’t exactly one there for their five friends and eleven family members are they?? I don’t know. We want the likes. We want the validation. We want to feel like we matter. Ten likes being too little and ninety nine likes being too uneven. We even go to the extreme lengths of posting on our stories (built for spammers like myself) reminding everyone of our latest post… usually a selfie accompanied with a “relative” quote about the moon and stars. – they’ll like it more if I use VSCO, blur out 90% of my face and make sure my hand covers my face because I truly believe I’m SIA circa 2015.
But it doesn’t solely lie in the content we upload. The comment sections are used as a way to further promote ourselves (or products) or confirm to society that there are indeed a few worthy people in our lives who actually give a crap that we ate pasta and had a Starbucks frapacino at 3pm. On Facebook one simply has to comment for it to resurface on other users timelines – which results in more views and etc. Instagram comment section look like a thirteen your old boy practicing how to say I love you to a girl for the first time. “Omg so cute”, “LOVE THIS”, “I wish I was this pretty” and I’m sure you’ve seen way more.
But before you rip my head off for being too negative there is something I must say. Having a little daily ego boost isn’t such a bad thing. We don’t get it at home so we search for it virtually, what’s wrong with that? Absolutely nothing. Although most of my NY resolutions fell apart whilst in a drive-thru, I promised myself that my content in 2018 will be artistic / self promotion for my writing and anything pertaining to that sort of thing. We jazz things up a bit and we’ve earned that, but just that. I know it’s like asking a monkey to answer a telephone and I know SOCIAL media is to open communication amongst people, I just believe that we lose a little piece of ourselves when searching for that specific validation. It’s like Nesquik- too much makes our tummies feel a little ill. Post ALL the selfies in the world, post your burnt lasagne, do YOU, but know who YOU are and notice who you become during editing and post-posting.
Validation: how much is too much? It’s something I can’t decide for ANYONE which what makes us humans, we have and make our own choices. Just be yourself ♥️ That’s all I ask for 2018.
now! What are the best hashtags for Risotto? I have it in my pout selfie. 🇮🇹